RE: Groundhog.

That damn groundhog is about as reliable as Albany TV weatherman Steve Caporizzo. (No offense if you're reading this, Steve.)
What a job for a rodent (The Groundhog, not Steve.) First of all that creature presumably eats for 11 months straight (have you seen it? as Fucillo would say; it's HUGE!) Then, it lumbers out of its comfy little burrow one lousy day per year, sees its damn shadow, scratches its ass and walks back down to bed. Lucky little turd; sleeping for ANOTHER 6 WEEKS while the rest of us endure the frigid temps. Because, well--some of us don't have the luxury of HIBERNATING when the going gets tough. I suspect that little rat bastard is living off of Daddy's trust fund, because some of us actually have to make a living up here above ground.
Oh, and by the way--Can anyone else recall a time that obese douche bag ever predicted spring would come EARLY? Maybe if he lost like, ten pounds, he would have less of a shadow and we'd be getting down to some Spring-dingin' around here. But then again, anyone who's lived in the Northeast for a consecutive twelve months knows that when Spring comes, it has never been, nor will it EVER be as early as February 2nd. Push that shit up a couple months there, big boy. Puxsutawney's annual debut should be more of an April Fool's-Type Deal. You guys know what I'm saying?

P.S. I vote that Steve Caporizzo's Facebook "doppelganger" should be Senator John Kerry. Discuss.