Saturday, February 5, 2011

Marketing Campaign Fail...Hilarious Comedy Triumph

Stewart's Shops have always featured notoriously horrific advertising.

A few questions I have in regard to the website, in particular:

1) "If We Get Another Shot of Winter This Weekend...We Are There For You!"  Oh, shit...Does this mean that, since we DIDN'T get any more snow, they aren't going to be there for me? That sucks, because frankly I was considering popping down there within the hour for a MYO sundae. Somebody hold down that snowmobile cow so I can squeeze out a milkshake.



2) The "Superbowl Grazing" video: not much needs to be said to enhance this film's goodness, but was anyone else surprised at Flavor the Cow's voice? Yeah, I didn't think she was going to sound like a SUNY Albany slut, either!

3) Gasoline News Update: Well, thank GOD we have Stewart's-affiliated brainiacs working 'round the clock to get us our political news briefings. I mean, I don't know about you, but Stewart's is my go-to place for serious updates on international affairs. It's really too bad those "darn speculators" are ruining gas prices for all of us normal "folks"!

4) The speculators are at it again--this time they're meddling in my morning coffee?! Is there anything sacred that these anti-American fucknuggets aren't trying to destroy?

Stewart's....The only place where you can people watch, be entertained by wretchedly rendered copy and get a heaping Mint Cookie Crumble cone all in one shot.


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