Awesome Person of the Day

I would just like to take a little time out to pay tribute, in a new category of blogging I've created that I will entitle, "Awesome Person of the Day." 

Today, Awesome Person of the Day is a Stewart's Customer...Well, maybe not a "customer," but a "frequenter."  She is a middle aged lady with designer glasses, an expensive-looking long winter coat and sensible square-heeled pumps.  This woman looked like a typical upper-middle aged woman.  She pulled into the parking lot in a new Chevrolet sedan which was pretty nice, but not flashy.  Tommy got out of the car to put air in his tires and tried to let her pass by him, but instead of walking toward the entrance, she hung a "louie" and scurried behind the store. 

Completely intrigued, I kept my eyes on her, under the covert guise of shades.  She proceeded to kneel down by a huge pile of trash bags and deftly sift through the discards.  In a matter of a ninety seconds, Sensible Square Heels had nabbed herself a package of English muffins, what appeared to be a box of donuts, and a few loaves of bread.  Then, she hurried back to her car and took off. 

I have to admit, my first reaction was "Whoa, crazy lady...What the fuck is you doin'?" But then, when I saw the treasures she exhumed from a trash-destined grave, I was in complete awe of her chutzpah.  Sensible Square Heels, with her new jacket and expensive accessories, really didn't give a shit! She knew that there were tasty treats in the garbage behind Stewarts, and with witnesses, she just went balls to the wall and tore those shits apart.  I have to respect someone who; 1) Thwarts stereotypes. 2) Picks through the trash (which I would do way more, if I wasn't so 'tardedly self-conscious and worried about what others think of me!) 3) Strategically locates awesome stuff in the trash that dumb asses are paying for, only a mere 20 yards away!(By the way, I love that the spell check just highlighted that and suggested other grammatically correct ways of typing "dumb asses.")

So anyway, Sensible Square Heels, I salute you! And anyone else that gives so little of a shit of what people think of them that they will plumb the depths of garbage-bound goodness.  YOU ROCK!

Post Script: Suggestion for "Awesome Person of the Day" of yesterday.  

I was in Capital Costumes yet again (I can't keep away!) and ran into this skinny black guy that reeked of pee-pee.  I mean, he REALLY reeked--the entire store smelled, and it is a giant store.  Even after he left, eau de piss was still detectable.  That in and of itself wouldn't have been enough to make him Awesome Person of the Day.  What really did it for me was his wardrobe.  He was wearing the most kickass black sequined blazer with puffy sleeves. It looked pretty Michael Jackson-esque.  He had a really sweet, colorful t-shirt on underneath, and maybe a hooded sweatshirt over that. My memory is failing, but I think he had on some really amazing sneakers and black 80's jeans. (You know, the ones with the flat butt and puffy thighs?) Oh, and some cool sunglasses. Without a hint of sarcasm,  it is my belief that he looked seriously awesome in this outfit.  

Homeless M.J. sauntered over to the $5/Buy One Get One Free rack, (great deal, right?!)  and picked out a ton of radical clothes.  He was carrying scads of plastic bags with him, and it kind of hit me that this guy probably didn't have a lot of disposable income.  But here he was, spending the last $5 he could muster on FASHION!  He couldn't get a proper shower, but by god, he was going to stay hip.  Truly, Homeless M.J. is a man after my own heart.