I've been around these people my entire life. Some of whom are my dearest friends, neighbors, and hell--there's probably more than a bit of WT in my own heart and soul, too, having grown up in the country.
Here are some well-thought out symptoms of white trashiness that I jotted down tonight, with the assistance of someone who happened to be dipping his leftover pizza crusts in ketchup. Let's just say I was inspired.
Enjoy!
You Are Almost Definitely White Trash If:
1) You keep Christmas lights up all year long...Especially outside the house on the roof or porch.
2)You eat ketchup on everything. Especially things that should never, ever be paired with ketchup. Such as pizza.
3) There is any liquid other than milk in your baby's bottle. Extra points if the liquid is cola or Hi-C.
4)You proudly display pictures of your vehicle(s) on Facebook or Myspace. Not just cars, but also (and specifically) ride-on mowers and farm equipment.
5)Kraft singles are your favorite kind of cheese. You will not eat cheese unless it comes individually plastic-wrapped in slices, and you are over the age of ten.
6)You won't spend 75 cents on a head of lettuce for salad with dinner, but you will pay an extra dollar to secure Pepsi or Coke over a generic brand cola.
7)When you get too fat for your underwear, you cut a slit in the elastic waistband, rather than buying new ones that fit properly.
8)Pizza Rolls are a common and complete supper at your home. You buy them in bags of, like...200.
9)The above ground pool at your house stops being used as a pool, and slowly becomes more of a pond, complete with algae and amphibians. Eventually, aquatic plants take root as well.
10)You are 17 and 6'1, but still ride a BMX bike designed for a seven year old. Instead of sitting to pedal, you stand and coast as often as possible to look cooler on the Lilliputian bike.
11) Your pick up's tailgate is made from a different material than your truck. Such as plastic cargo netting or a 2x4.
12)Peeing outside in the daytime without any attempt at modest concealment. Or, you tend to urinate into inappropriate receptacles. (Example: plastic cup.)
13)Your home contains a CB radio or scanner, but you are not an EMT or volunteer firefighter...You just want to know what's going on in town before everyone else does.
14) The aforementioned ride-on lawn mower has a cup holder that you personally added on, post-purchase.
1 comment:
I also, believe it or not, grew up in this white, AHEM, 'country' world...I always like Napoleon Dynamite because the setting reminds me SO much of home...ESP. the (surely super stinky) moon boots that he wears ALL THE TIME!!!!!
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