WOW, guys.

I'm so freakin' sorry I haven't been on here since...JUNE 18?! What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, rather than grovel at your feet, beg for your forgiveness and start gagging down everyone's sock-eyed salmons, I think I'll just try and redeem myself with an amazing clip from Hot Tub Time Machine.
 I know, I know, I had my doubts about this movie at first, too. It looked like it could be another one of those shitty "bro ha has": a mega-gay opus to Dude Love, thinly masked as a humorous romp through those glory days of yore (that anyone over age 21 seems to mourn).
Well, it's way fucking more than that--it's seriously hilarious, and Rob Corddry reminded me of my ardent love for bald guys, especially of the comic variety. (Seriously: David Cross, Jim Gaffigan, Dave Chapelle, like 20 others...A-freakin-mazing!)

Anyway, sorry about that nasty little hiatus, and please enjoy:

I Can't Stand It.

So good it makes me want to die.

Day of the Mommies

 In honor of all our Mothers have done for us, let's spend a little time with them today--either physically or in memory/though if that is our only option, and take a look at these super cute baby/mommy animal pictures I found on Life magazine's website. To all the Moms I know: I love you all, you are some of the strongest and most giving humans on earth. Three cheers for the Mommies!

Food Photography vs. People Pictures

 We've been discussing food photography a little bit and how it can be both amusing and repulsive--slyly appealing to the same place inside of our minds where we get urges for other kinds of hungers to be satiated as well.

In keeping with the photography theme, and also in honor of all the sinfully delicious "fair foods" that will be at Tulip Fest today (which I fully intend to gorge on) I wanted to show you guys this collection of food photography that was on NPR this morning. This is food photography done WELL. It actually makes me hungry, rather than making me feel like I have to go take a shower. I think this photo collection is to the Ihop set as a Vogue photo shoot of a naturally beautiful girl would be to a  Hustler magazine shoot of Tara Reid or someone with massive plastic boobies and a fake face, haha. Food for thought!



http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2010/05/07/126610610/food

Oh, and by the way--I went to Friendlys yesterday, and BOY are they guilty of pornographic food advertising! I was looking over the menu and laughing my ass off. "Happy Endings?!" For visual reinforcement of what I mean, go to the website and take a look at the Mango Raspberry Swirl Sorbet on the left hand side. Ummmm...Was it really necessary for them to position a mango in the picture right next to a scoop of identically sized sorbet? The mango even has a little nub on it like a nipple! Needless to say, I did get the sorbet and it was pretty amazing...

Culinary Pornography

Alright. Take a look at this picture for me, will you?

 

Looks pretty innocent, right?

Well, take another look. 

Don't the colors seem freakishly bright? Do you feel like the placement of the food is kind of strange? Strange as in vaguely....Erotic?

I know, it may be a stretch, but bear with me here--

What do we see in the first square:

1. 2 eggs over easy, placed side by side.

2. Two sausages, cooked well until wrinkled.

How about the second square:

1. A bun or sub roll with an array of vegetables including red tomatoes, some melted cheese, and chicken or some sort of cold cut.

And the third square?

1. A round slab of what appears to be medium rare roast beef or steak.

Finally, the fourth square:

1. A pile of three pillow-y pancakes with runny red syrup, strawberries, two round slices of banana, placed laterally but generously spaced; and, in conclusion, a dollop of whipped cream on top in the middle.

Does this seem weird yet?

Let's recap:

The vivid colors, the bright lighting, the little spiky dialogue blurbles that urge you to consume ever-more sumptuous, decadent delights. (Oh, you know them..The ones you really SHOULDN'T consume?) 

Even the motto at the bottom seems a little vaguely sexual:

"Come Hungry, Leave Happy!"

If you still aren't sure what I mean, let me me elaborate:

Is it just me, or does this look oddly like a page from Hustler?

*Discuss!*

Writer's Almanac

(*Please read all of this aloud, slowly and with undue emphasis, in Garrison Keillor voice.*) If you don't know what that sounds like, listen first to this:

Now, if you're also wondering what the guy looks like who is speaking in such a manner, let me assist you:

Ok, now that we've got that taken care of....


The Writer's Almanac for Thursday, April 29, 2010:

Here is a poem for today by surrealist lunatic Poet-in-Residence Jessica L. Towne, entitled "Weasel Moon."

 "Weasel Moon" was conceived on this very spring evening, while Towne stood in front of the refrigerator pondering the meaning of a chocolate chip cookie. (Which was made fresh just moments before by her co-inhabitant and close friend, the popular musician T.D. Krebs).
"Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."

The Best Thing You May Ever See in Your Life

I don't know who the cross dressing individual is who made this amazing objet d'art, but I pretty much want to make sweet love to him. If you don't think this is funny, there is seriously no hope for you. Either that or you are not from New York/the Northeastern United States, in which case, I forgive you. If you are from the Northeast, you will find this funny. Every single person in this region is either related to or knows someone (or several someones) who look/sound like this, especially on the phone.


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Please enjoy! I have been working on a little somethin' for you people, but unfortunately I've had to do too much actual...well, WORK, and haven't had the chance to post it up fer yer enjoyment as of yet. Still working on it, kids!