A few months I was standing in line at the post office, waiting my turn at the counter. A catchy little pop tune came on and I found myself involuntarily tapping my foot to the beat.
Perhaps you've heard it before. These are some of the lyrics:
"I Don't Need To Try To Control You.
Look Into My Eyes and I'll Own You--
With The Moves Like Jagger
I've Got The Moves Like Jagger
I've Got The Mooooooooves Like Jagger..."
Here's the song (if you think it's necessary):
"Yeah", I thought to myself, "moves like Jagger...That's kinda clever."
But then, I started considering exactly what this song was indicating. I paged back into my mental files, coming up with some really upsetting connections and a montage of horrific images.
"Wait a minute", I hissed under my breath, "Do they mean MICK Jagger? He's a fucking horrible dancer!"
***********************
Perhaps you're not so sure what I mean. You may be wondering how someone so rich, famous and well-laid could possibly be bad at busting some moves.
Well, let's assess for ourselves and see what we come up with.
Exhibit A:
OK, so right off the bat in the first ten seconds, there is some troubling stuff going on here. Mick is doing a series of movements that remind me of a confused elderly man who has mistakenly enrolled in a workout class.
Then he kind of segues into this sequence where he's maybe crossing the street in a busy metropolis, forgetting which direction he wants to go to get to that killer bagel shop on 42nd street.
Other notable features: a pretty weak David Lee Roth-style kick and compulsive off-beat clapping.
Sprinkle a little salsa-flavored chicken dancing into the mix and you've got yourself some dinner....if you still have the appetite to eat.
Exhibit B:
You don't even have to start the video to see that Mick has made some consistently puzzling fashion choices. Methinks his style icons are probably Richard Simmons, Wonder Woman and a coked out Jimmy Buffet.
In conclusion, is it just me, or could it be possible that Jagger may secretly be an angry black or Hispanic lady in reverse drag? There is a whole hell of a lot of finger pointing, side to side head bobbing movements, and dropping his (bony English) booty like it's hot.
I'm not sure about you guys, but I think I'll stick with my own moves, thankyouverymuch. And, if I meet a potential love interest that exhibits any of the aforementioned dance proclivities, I'll politely excuse myself from the scenario as quickly as possible.
Perhaps you've heard it before. These are some of the lyrics:
"I Don't Need To Try To Control You.
Look Into My Eyes and I'll Own You--
With The Moves Like Jagger
I've Got The Moves Like Jagger
I've Got The Mooooooooves Like Jagger..."
Here's the song (if you think it's necessary):
"Yeah", I thought to myself, "moves like Jagger...That's kinda clever."
But then, I started considering exactly what this song was indicating. I paged back into my mental files, coming up with some really upsetting connections and a montage of horrific images.
"Wait a minute", I hissed under my breath, "Do they mean MICK Jagger? He's a fucking horrible dancer!"
***********************
Perhaps you're not so sure what I mean. You may be wondering how someone so rich, famous and well-laid could possibly be bad at busting some moves.
Well, let's assess for ourselves and see what we come up with.
Exhibit A:
OK, so right off the bat in the first ten seconds, there is some troubling stuff going on here. Mick is doing a series of movements that remind me of a confused elderly man who has mistakenly enrolled in a workout class.
Then he kind of segues into this sequence where he's maybe crossing the street in a busy metropolis, forgetting which direction he wants to go to get to that killer bagel shop on 42nd street.
Other notable features: a pretty weak David Lee Roth-style kick and compulsive off-beat clapping.
Sprinkle a little salsa-flavored chicken dancing into the mix and you've got yourself some dinner....if you still have the appetite to eat.
Exhibit B:
You don't even have to start the video to see that Mick has made some consistently puzzling fashion choices. Methinks his style icons are probably Richard Simmons, Wonder Woman and a coked out Jimmy Buffet.
In conclusion, is it just me, or could it be possible that Jagger may secretly be an angry black or Hispanic lady in reverse drag? There is a whole hell of a lot of finger pointing, side to side head bobbing movements, and dropping his (bony English) booty like it's hot.
I'm not sure about you guys, but I think I'll stick with my own moves, thankyouverymuch. And, if I meet a potential love interest that exhibits any of the aforementioned dance proclivities, I'll politely excuse myself from the scenario as quickly as possible.
