However, even though we hum along and fumble through the lyrics, we don't always, well...think about exactly what these musicians are trying to say.
In fact, I hardly ever fucking know what song lyrics are trying to express - although I do have my suspicious. And my suspicions confirm that most, if not all songwriters, are absolutely looney tunes. (Which of course, doesn't mean we love them any less).
Here are a few songs I personally love, along with a rather judgmental assessment of what the lyrics of each are attempting to express...As well as a (kind of) clinical sum-up of what they're ultimately telling me about the singer/songwriter's personality.
Name: Iggy Pop
Diagnosis: Deranged, Perverted Stalker.
Evidence:
lyrics to "Search and Destroy":
"Look out honey, 'cause I'm using technology..."
This motherfucker is so into you, he's discreetly using his iPad (and, of course, the Interwebz) to discover your address, home phone number, the names of all living relatives, and their respective ages.
Once Iggy has your address, he will Google map your house and drive, walk or bicycle past it daily.
"Baby penetrate my mind...
And I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searchin' - searchin' to destroy."
Chances are, this twisted character pleasures himself to your Facebook default pic and eventually breaks into your home to steal all of your dirty undies.
Name: Smokey Robinson.
Diagnosis: Anxious Attachment Style (AKA: Overly Needy Cry Baby)
Evidence:
lyrics to "I Second That Emotion":
"Oh, but if you feel like loving me / if you got the notion -
I second that emotion.
Said, if you feel like giving me a lifetime of devotion,
I second that emotion..."
Whoaaa there, Smokes! There's a huge difference between "feeling like loving you" and "a lifetime of devotion". A BIG fucking difference, dude. I think you're taking things a bit too fast here. Let's slow it down a bit.
"Maybe you want to give me kisses sweet,
But only for one night with no repeat.
Maybe you'd go away and never call -
And a taste of honey's worse than none at all..."
Seriously, Smokey?! Can't we just enjoy a movie for once in our fucking lives? Do we have to have this conversation about FEELINGS every single time we see each other?
Yeah, well, I guess if you think that "a taste of honey's worse than none at all," I'm going to think long and hard before giving you a taste of honey in the first place, if you get my drift...
Backup Evidence: lyrics to "Tears of a Clown" (self explanatory). You need to learn how to keep your shit together in public, man.
Name: Gordon Lightfoot
Diagnosis: Avoidant Attachment Style/Pathological Narcissist
(AKA: Category 5, Grade A Dickhead)
Evidence:
lyrics to "For Loving Me/Did She Mention My Name?":
"So don't you shed a tear for me,
'cause I ain't the love you thought I'd be...
I've got a hundred more like you
(So don't be blue)
I'll have a thousand 'fore I'm through."
OK, so let me get this straight. You're dumping me, and trying to comfort me...With the fact that there are shit tons of other chicks identical to me, and you're going to bang them all?
WOW, thanks! I feel like a million fucking bucks now - Good as new.
But wait--
"Now there you go you're cryin' again,
Now there you go you're cryin' again.
But then someday when your poor heart, is on the mend--
I just might pass this way again..."
That's what you get for lovin' me."
Holy shit. This is cold blooded.
He's disdainful of the fact that I'm (understandably) blubbering like a lovelorn war widow after the breakup. To make matters worse, the second scrap of "comfort" offered up is basically saying: once I start to feel strong again, when getting out of bed becomes less of a challenge each morning, he'll probably just come back around and fuck my shit up all over again.
OH, and it's not even over with him after that, either--
Most people only know this song as "For Lovin' Me". However, there's another version that gives us even more insight into the mind of this sadistic fuck. It's called "For Lovin' Me/Did She Mention My Name?"
After that whole dreadful first bit, the song segues into a pleasant folk lilt and he throws this little monkey wrench at us:
"Did she mention my name, just in passing
And when the talk ran high
Did the look in her eye seem far away?
Won't you say hello from someone, they'll be no need to explain -
And by the way, did she mention my name?"
Wow. Just, wow.
So now, this insufferable Cockasaurus Rex is hundreds of miles away, I'm finally getting back to a semblance of my former self, and I have this conversation with a neighbor:
"Oh, hiiii! Dude, you'll never guess who I bumped into the other day...Yeah, it was Gordon Lightfoot! He wanted me to tell you that he said 'hi'.
...
"Well actually, he said to tell you that he's screwed like 43 girls since you guys broke up, and all of them were much hotter than you...he like -- well, he just said, 'tell her someone she used to know says hi, and banged a chick that looked like you last week, only more attractive.'"
...
"Uhhhm....Well, I don't know why I didn't keep that to myself. I guess I just, like, thought I should let you know or something. Uh cool, yeah I'll see ya later, too. Yep, bye."
AWESOME.
